All throughout school I was not a fan of reading at all. There were a few books that I did enjoy reading like, The Great Gatsby, Left Behind for kids series, and the author Henry David Thoreau. But I never had an urge to sit down and read an entire book, to go walk through a bookstore looking for that book that stands out to me, or to try to find a book that might help me spiritually. In fact if you would have asked me if I enjoyed reading I would have quickly said No! I never would have thought that 10+ years later that I Love reading! It is kind of crazy how life changes as you grow older.
Back in February of 2009, my sister-in-law asked if I wanted to read the book, Becoming the woman God wants me to be a 90 day guide to living the Proverbs 31 life by Donna Partow. After I read that book, I was hooked to continue to read good christian books to become a better wife, mother, and daughter of Christ. My husband recently asked me, “Do you ever get tired of reading?” My response to him was, No! Especially when every book I read draws me closer to our Heavenly Father! Well, a few days later I come home with my new book called, Lead me, Holy Spirit… Longing to hear the voice of God by Stormie Omartian. As soon as my husband saw it he just started laughing and said yes at least its a good christian book. I am only on page 32 but I have already broke out my pink highlighter and my pink pen to write notes down in the sides of the book. When I got to page 30, one paragraph really stuck out to me that I would like to share with you guys.
Often the pain in our lives comes from a lack of intimacy with God. And the only way we can experience that intimacy is to be in close communication with Him. You must be able to find a place that is quiet and private every day. Believe me, I know how hard that can be, especially in certain seasons of your life, but try. Go before the Lord and release every worry, care, person, fear, obligation, or concern from your mind into His hands. Name them specifically. As you sit in His presence, focus on His goodness and love, and welcome the comfort of His Holy Spirit in you. let Him set you free of whatever keeps you from the abundant joy He has for you.
So, as I have said before I am learning about the Holy Spirit and how to hear from God. To be quite frank, there is a lot that I am in the process of learning. But when I read that paragraph I was like wow! I have always been a person who prayed to the Lord, even though I’m still not sure if I am praying correctly, but when she said “Name them specifically,” that really caught my attention. I know I have heard that before, but it never really sunk in until earlier today when I read this. I have always been fearful to not pray for myself to much, but to pray for other more than myself. When I wake up in the morning and I have my alone time with God, I spend the majority of the time praying for other people and only a small fraction praying for myself. I never really truly release my cares to the Lord, I never truly release anything to Him. I am so thankful that I was able to read this and go WOW, I am so doing it wrong! I do need to pray for my worries and pray for my cares and name all of it specifically and do take a little more time to pray for me.
I strongly agree with starting your day with the Lord. Waking up just a little bit earlier so you can get some alone time in with Him. It makes your day SOO much more Beautiful and Joyful when you wake up and let the Lord in your heart Before doing anything else! Walking with the Lord is a journey where you are always learning, and I thank the Lord that I have desire to learn and grow as a Christian Woman, mother and wife! I still have a long way to go but with the Holy Spirit as my guide, nobody can stop me!
I LOVE the summer time! I love everything about the summer; short, tank tops, swimming, boating, pool, beach, flowers, small afternoon rain showers, everything! Being a born and raised Florida girl here at the beach, I would So rather be in shorts and a shirt, or swimming somewhere than be cold! I dislike the cold with a passion. Now, that I stay home with my Lily, we have been going to the pool or beach at least once a week. Then on the weekend we go on my moms boat! Well, recently the weather has not been cooperating very well and it has been raining a lot! If it isn’t raining it just looks yucky, or is thundering because it is raining a little north of us. This is the longest stretch we’ve gone without going to the pool all summer. BUT today it is BEAUTIFUL and we finally made it to the pool.
When we got to the pool, I put the arm floats on Lily, and the ring around Taylor (the little girl I watch 3 days a week) and let them go. Every time we get in the water, I take a little time out and work with Lily on holding her breathe under water, and kicking her arms and legs to get her swimming. Each day she gets a tiny bit better. It has helped if I go swim under water and show Lily, so that way she will want to imitate me, haha. So, that is what I did today, and to my surprise she took her arm floats off and tried to swim under the water. She did not go very far but the fact that she, herself, decided I want to do it too and tried made me so happy! She would stand on the last step and jump and try to swim under the water, while i caught her. It was great! Well, so I thought.
Taylor decided she wanted to throw the ring in the pool and have me go get it and throw it back to her. Okay, that was fine I will play along with her. Eventually Lily wanted to join and said mom I want you, and before I could say anything Lily jumped, off the last step, and was trying to swim under water. Okay, now I’m a good 7-8 feet away running/swimming as fast as I can to get Lily. I finally reach her pull her up and she wiped her eyes off like it was nothing. Now, in my frantically trying to reach Lily, I did see her head come up once and her get a breath of air and go under again but still. I am soooo thankful to God that she was safe, and was actually able to get a breath of air and go back under and swim. I am so thankful that she did not swallow any water at all and I reached her in time before something happened!!! So-So thankful!
I did have a talk with her though and tell her, she CANNOT just go jump and swim. I was so proud of her for swimming and getting a breath and swim some more, that was awesome of her to not panick, but she cannot do that unless mommy is right next to her. She said okay mommy I am sorry. I am not going to scold her for trying to swim to me, or get mad, because she honestly thought she could swim. But instead I tried to lovingly tell her she did great BUT not to do that again! She didn’t do it again (well today at least).
When we came home, got cleaned up and the girls were laying down for a nap, this situation reminded me about how God will keep us from falling. Just like Lily took that leap of faith and jumped, we need to take that leap of faith and jump off. Just like I was there to get Lily BEFORE something bad happened, God will be there to catch you BEFORE you hit the ground. Now he might wait till the last second, or he may catch you before you even jump, BUT he will catch you IF YOU BELIEVE HE WILL. If you Trust in Him with Every fiber of your being, he will catch you! That is just amazingly awesome, in my opinion. I need to be like my Lily and just jump! Do you believe God is going to catch you? If you do, what are you waiting for JUST JUMP!
As soon as dinner was over, my daughter grabbed my hand and said Momma come play with me outside please! How could I say no, especially when my husband was doing the dishes. We go outside and she loves to pretend there are fish coming and we have to drive the boat away. It is convenient that she has a wheel on a post, to use a steering wheel, lol. Well, soon the fish get so big we have to go into the tree house to get away. As we are sitting there waiting, Lily says momma look at all the clouds, so pretty. We soon were on our backs looking up trying to find animals in the clouds. We saw an alligator, donald duck, mickey mouse, a turtle, cow, elephant, and the list goes on. It was so peaceful, just watching the clouds go by, while Lily points out all the animals she sees. It is BeAutiful to just watch and think how Glorious our God is, and that he created All of this!
I think it is soooo important to take time out of our busy lives, to just sit and watch the clouds go by. To let our children use their imagination and just be a kid! To relax and just take in the beauty of the world that God created. We need to create these moments in our children’s lives. We need to create moments where we can just get down on their level and help create that Beautiful imagination of theirs. Lily has such a great imagination, and she can take anything and pretend that it is a baby, or animal. For example: we have this vine that grows on our back fence (can’t remember the name) but it creates these big seed pods (I guess you would call it that). Well Lily will take three and pretend she has a mom, dad, and a baby and play for hours with those seed pods. I think that is so important, to let our kids be kids and play and pretend and have NO cares at all.
This world we live in can be so busy, and can keep us on a Go-Go-Go kind of life. It is so easy to forget that we need to take time out to just Relax with our children and look at the beauty of the world. I thank God for this opportunity to be a stay at home mom, and that I can have this precious time with my daughter. It is Amazing and I would not change a THING! I know that God has me here to teach my daughter and I finally have the family time that I wished I had! How are you creating those joyous relaxing moments with your children?
I am not sure how inspirational or uplifting my blog post is today, but it is something I feel that I need to write! I have two personal problems that I have dealt with since I can remember and I’m ready to break free!!!!! Both of these issues go hand in hand and I’m not sure if anyone around me is even aware of them, but I’m reading to confess my problems, ask the Lord for help, and Move Forward!!!!!
First I have a problem with going places with a big group of people. Heck even with just a small group of people! For example ill get an invite to go to dinner for someones birthday and this is what happens inside. I wanna go BUT I don’t know many people. I wanna go but I’m just scared. I wanna go but I don’t wanna feel awkward. Well maybe I wont go because nobody will care if I’m there anyway ill just stay home. That is the basic battle that goes on inside; it is a battle that gives me anxiety, nervous, shaky hands, you name it. I am Done with that battle! I’m ready to move past the silly games the enemy plays with my head and I’m ready to be Free in Jesus name!
Another issue I have I am the worlds worst at keeping in touch with people or even just making friends, heck keeping friends. I will complain to my husband that I don’t have any friends to do anything with that is close but yet making friends just scares the beegeesus out of me. I already have a HUGE problem with being myself around people. Not being myself on top of being Super shy gives me bad anxiety so the only way I know to deal with it is to not deal and make no friends. Bad cycle I know and I’m sick of this cycle and want to be FREE! I’ve broke free of a lot of issues and I’m ready for this to be another.
I know that if I believe what I pray and ask for then it has been done. I need to toss all my cares on Jesus and I can be free. I know all of that but when you have thought a certain way for 20+ years it is hard to “give it up” and not worry. But Father I am starting today, and I’m believing that my mindset has been changed! All things are possible when you have faith in the Father and I’m having Faith!!!!
For the past, at least, 10 years now I have known that I wanted to go on a mission trip. I wanted to go to a different country and help people and share Jesus with them. I have always “wanted” to go but I have never felt I was”good enough” to go. I have always gone to church, off and on, my whole life but I never really studied the bible, never dug deep, never known to much about him and how was I going to help someone when I needed help myself? This was the question that has plagued me for a while now, and a couple of months back I found peace with that desire. I know it is my calling to go on a mission trip, I know it is my calling to go and help people but right now is my time when I need to prepare myself. I need to dig into God’s word and submerge myself in Him so I can in turn help someone else find Him too! A couple of weekends ago at church, while I’m standing in line to get coffee, I had this feeling I need to go talk to the lady standing in front of the mission table. So, I pick up a flyer and head over and introduced myself. She told me that when she first saw me, she knew that I was going to be coming with them on a mission trip one day. She saw it all over my face, and she knows I will go one day! I almost started crying and told her how fabulous it is to know that what I thought was my calling, really is my calling. It is Fabulous how the Lord works and how he knew that I needed to hear those words!
Well, the past week, really Wednesday and Thursday, I have not really felt myself. When Friday morning came, and I was praying, I asked God for his will to be done in my life as it in his heaven. That I wanted to work out his will and I wanted to know that I was on the right path. I needed assurance that where I am at now and what I am doing now is what he wants me to do. I have been doubting it and not really sure of myself lately. When I got done praying and was getting ready for the day, I had an urge to turn on Pandora and listen to some music. Once again, our Father in Heaven is so great because he spoke to me through the music. Every song that I listened to, told me Tiffany you cannot do anything with your own strength, you NEED the Lord’s strength so Stop! When a person gives up his life for me, he actually gains life, so what are you waiting for? You are still scared, just FALL and I will catch you!! Tiffany you are doing my will and you just need to wait and be patient!!! Wow- how amazing is our God. How amazing it is that when I LISTEN to those little voices, instead of ignore them, that the Lord speaks to me! It may be through music or through a blog, but I do think he was trying to tell me something and I listened and it was Glorious!
My point is, If you are not sure of something, ask for assurance, ask for guidance, ask for help! He is waiting for you to ask! He may not give you a quick answer and you may have to wait, but in HIs perfect timing He will reveal His answer to you! If you are not getting an answer don’t give up, keep asking, keep praying, whatever it may be, when His timing is perfect the answer will come!
Picture doesn’t have much to do with blog, just Love that peanut butter smile!
Today I am flooded with emotions. I drug myself out of bed, made my coffee, and went to my spot on the couch to read and pray. In the midst of my praying all I could think about was my Uncle Donny, my granny, and some other people. I tried to pray for my family first but it just was not happening, so I went through prayed for every person that came to my mind. Of course, like always, just as I’m finishing my praying my Lily wakes up. This morning all I wanted to do was hold her tight and not let go. I have so many emotions and thoughts racing through my head that she is my safe place. She is my place, when my husband is at work, that I go to and just hold and pray silently and know that everything will be okay. But today, I just am not sure about anything, to be quite frank. I really just want to crawl back in bed, put on a movie that Lily wants to watch and not do Anything today!
My Uncle Donny has been on my mind a lot lately. He has Leukemia, and just started Chemo last week. Everyday, multiple times a day, I pray for him. I pray for him to be healed, to have peace, for the pain and suffering to go away, and I pray for God’s will to be worked out in his life. That is all I can do is pray and believe whole-heartedly in my prayers and what I ask God for. My Uncle is such a wonderful man of God, and someone who I could sit and talk to for hours. I know that day will come when I can sit again with him and talk with him, it just waiting for that day to come!
Then my cousin sent me a message on Facebook, yesterday, saying that our Granny was in the hospital because she had a stroke Monday Night/Tuesday Morning, and was not doing very well. Come to find out that the Doctors are not sure if she had a mini stroke, or her meds just got messed up. This woman is 80 years old, and I do not know how much more she can endure. She is stable now, so hopefully she will continue to get better, but once again all I can do is pray.
The two verses that has been coming to me is Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well, and 1 Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. I think these two verses are a perfect fit for everything that is going on my in my life personally. This is something that I need to ask God to help me with, because I cannot do anything without Him. I do not want to worry anymore, I do not want to be anxious anymore, I want to live a life full of God and knowing that everything that is happening is happening because it is going to make me stronger. I do think this morning was a test from the enemy, and he is trying to bring me down and squish my faith, but I WILL NOT let that happen. A little saying I have on my bathroom mirror says, “A strong woman believes that she’s strong enough to face her journey… but a woman of strength has faith that it is in this journey that she will become strong.” I want to be the woman of strength that has FAITH and I read that daily to affirm that I am and am becoming the woman of Faith!
I have this lime green chenille blanket that I love and it recently found a new home over a chair in our living room. My husband does not like this blanket because it sheds, you brush up against it and little green fibers fall off. Well, having a love for this blanket I just keep the area swept to pease my husband and it works! He doesn’t have to look at little green fibers all over the floor and I get to keep my Wonderful Lime Green blanket drapped across the chair. It is a win-win situation, haha.
Well, Tuesday my daughter decides that she is cold and wraps the blanket around her, in turn spilling juice and syrup on it. So of course, it gets thrown into the dirty clothes hamper. Well on Thursday I decided that I wanted to wash some towels with this blanket, not thinking of the fact that it sheds! So i put it in the washer, start it up and go about my business. Washer dings, so I go to switch the towels and blanket, and little green fibers are all over my washer. UGH, oh no so i clean out the washer really good and start the dryer. Well, this is where I really made a boo-boo, I put the blanket in the dryer. Yes, I know what you are probably thinking, but at the time I was not thinking, obviously! Like I normally do, I got busy making dinner, playing with Lily, and doing everything else except remember about the dryer.
Finally a couple of hours later, I remember that clothes needed to be folded and when I opened the dryer, OH MY was there a mess. I think while this blanket was drying, all those tiny fibers that fall off, had a party and made a whole other blanket. I pulled out the dryer vent thing, and it was Overflowing with this whole other blanket/fiber material stuff. It is down inside under where the vent goes, its Everywhere. You pull a towel out, shake it, and tons of little fibers go flying! My first thought was OH NO I’ve done ruin the fan motor, Evan’s gonna have to take the dryer apart AGAIN all because I was not thinking! (let me explain, about a month or so ago, when i was washing a load of my husbands clothes, i forget to put the dryer vent in and a sock got sucked up into the dryer and he had to take it apart to get the sock out!! yeah Evan wasn’t very happy, lol) So, I go inside and I tell Evan, Uhmm… Honey… I think you need to come see! He goes outside and starts laughing, looks at me and goes what were you thinking? This blankets sheds did you not think it would multiple when dried all while laughing. He goes and cleans up all of my mess, gets all the stuff out of the dryer and everything! When he was done he looked at me and calmly (while not trying to laugh) said, Honey please do not put that blanket in the dryer, and next time think uhmm is this a good thing to put in the dryer or not, I love you.
I quickly said THANK YOU LORD for a forgiving and understand husband! I am super blessed with a husband who talks everything out, and doesn’t get mad very easily, but still it could have gone very different! I think it is important to have good communication in a relationship, talk things out, and have a heart that is understanding! My husband understands how I think and does things and when accidents happen, like it did with the blanket, he just laughs it off instead of getting angry! What a blessed wife I am!