Fallen but Saved by Grace

I have not written on here in a while, and I do apologize for that. It has been a busy, stressful, trying, happy, joyous, couple of weeks. I had family come into town, playdates, helped out at my church, a wedding, Plus my weekly visits to my mom, and other activities that it seems like the first half of August has been busier than normal for me. I am not used to doing so much and seeing so many people in a short amount of time. Don’t get me wrong this business was great, and it was a new experience for me, but it also opened up my eyes as to how quickly I can fall. How quickly I can put God second or third to life.

Before August, almost every morning I would get up and have my quiet time with the Lord, read a little, and wait for my Lily to wake up. We would make pancakes at least once a week in the morning, and would go for walks and we had a routine down. Of course there were days I would sleep to late and couldn’t have my quiet time, or read, but I still made time to pray. As soon as my world got a little busier everything went out the window. I no longer kept track of what chores Lily did for the day. I no longer could get myself out of bed at 7, and I slept until Lily woke up. I no longer had my quiet time with the Lord or prayed as much and as deep as I did before. I know longer made myself smoothies in the morning or made pancakes with Lily. All of the little things I love doing each day I no longer had the energy to do. As I sit here and think back on how I let just a teeny bit of business create havoc in my life, the sadder I feel. I put life IN FRONT of God and that is NOT what I wanna do. That is not what I intentionally did, I let my old bad habits get in the way of my relationship with the Lord. It just brings me down knowing that, Wow how I let it all slip away.

I will sit on the floor with Lily and explain something to her and how something relates to God. I will tell her how we need to treat people how we want to be treated. I will sit down and read the bible to her before she falls asleep and we will sing kid bible songs. I have not wavered in my trying to teach my daughter about the Lord, but yet I let myself slip away from Him. That just hits me hard right there. How I could expect my daughter to walk in God’s path but yet I can let myself slip. It really opens my eyes as to how EASY it is, as a human, to slip off that road the Lord has paved for us. How easy it is to let the Lord slip to number two, then number 3, and maybe off our top ten.

Direct my footsteps according to your word, let no sin rule over me. Psalm 119:133

But there is a BRIGHT side to all of this. God is waiting with OPEN ARMS for us to say ‘Lord, I’m sorry I have let you slip down out of the number one spot, please forgive me for walking off of your path and please help me get back on and stay there! Thank you lord that I am still here to recognize my ways and come back to you.” Isn’t that just Glorious? That even when we slip a little or all the way to the bottom, that we can turn back and God is waiting with Open Arms to welcome us back. His love for us is so unbelievably magnificent, and I just pray that you truly do know that.

Nothing can ever seperate us from the His love. Romans 8:38

I am thankful that I am able to recognize that I need help, and cannot go about my days Joyfully without the Lords presence. I know with my daughter turning 3 next month, that my life will soon become busier, and I’m thankful I can learn how to put God first NOW, so that I will not waver in the future.

We know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere. Romans 5:5 

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Looking up through obstacles

The Cloud Shadow (Anti-Crepuscular Rays)

The Cloud Shadow (Anti-Crepuscular Rays) (Photo credit: Jason A. Samfield)

Over a year ago, I posted on my Facebook that I did not know what the will of my life was, I did not know where God was taking me, what I was supposed to do, I was basically lost. In this time of confusion and wonder, I really overly thought everything. I thought there might be something wrong with me since I wasn’t sure anything. The day before I wrote my note on Facebook, my Pastor said “What has God placed in your heart? If you are supposed to be a missionary, well then you can and will be one.” At the time I did not know what God placed in my heart, I was not sure of anything. I was looking in ALL the wrong places for my answer. My mom wrote (on this note) Maybe it is to be a great mother to Lily, A great friend, A wonderful person to work for and with. Look at the opportunity you have to speak to all the people who walk in th store. Maybe a kind word to someone may change that person, God gives us opportunities everyday. You do not have to have a specific title. You are a Blessing just by being you! Spread that around A snippet from what Mrs. Roberts said was The Lord lays it on your heart and you are compelled to obey.  If you don’t have that compulsion, your family, friends and neighbors are your mission field. My sister-in-law confirmed what everyone else told me, a piece of what she said was to be a mother to Lily first and invest in her character and moral/spiritual foundation, and that is my calling right now.

At the time I took everything everyone said to heart, I had 16 comments and all of them were from the heart, and I love and thank everyone who helped me then. Now that it has been over a year I can look back and go WOW have I grown in the Lord. I have grown SO much. I went from being a woman who was lost and confused, to being a woman who is confident that I am on God’s path for me. It is amazingly wonderful how our Heavenly Father works in us and how we are constantly growing in the Lord. It is wonderful how I can look back and say Everyone was right, I know that with confidence that Everyone was right. I can TRULY appreciate everyone’s comments now! With Lily my #1 mission at the moment I will do whatever it takes, educate myself, to make sure I instill the morals, values, spiritual foundation, and be a mom that she can look up to and say my mom is a Godly woman.

I believe the first step in getting over the confusion is to Look Up and seek God. In the book I’m reading (a place of healing), the author’s friend Dan, a race car driver, told her “that when a driver gets bumped and starts to spin he does not look at the wall. Their natural instincts tell them to, but their training tells them to keep their eyes on the track and steer out of that spin. You see, if they look at the wall, they’ll freeze. But if you look down the speedway and steer toward that open space, all your nerves are concentrated on that and not bracing for an impact.” That is what us humans do, we fix our eyes on the trials ahead, like I did when I was confused, and we allow ourselves to be fearful. We think I cannot do this, I won’t recover, I don’t know what to do, etc.. and we brace for an impact. Well we really  need to look up to God, and set our hearts on the things above. Look up and pray to God for wisdom, pray to God for strength, just pray. Lay it in his hands. It is amazing how your perspective on life changes when you SEEK GOD and His Wisdom! When you pray for the scales to be taken off your eyes, and your ears to be open so you can hear the Holy Spirit talking to you. When you open up your hearts to Him and let Him in FULLY and Completely. He WILL show you His will for your life, and He will bring you the peace you are longing for.

I can truly say that I am blessed to be at a Church where every service I take so much from it. I am truly blessed to have met some ladies along the way who have really helped me understand the word better. I am truly blessed to have wonderful family, friends, and my husband, who see me growing in my faith and tell me I’m doing a wonderful job. All of the books I have read and blogs I have read have really and truly shaped me into the person I am today and I’m truly thankful.

A pastor of mine said, when God shows you the next step you are to take, or shows you His will, or something you are supposed to do; do the next little step the best you can do. Do that little step and let that step bring all the Glory to God, and once you have mastered that step, then take another. I just love that and how that can be applied to anything. Whatever place you are in, remember to keep God first, Let the first song you sing, be praises to our God and King.

 

How awesome is our God

 

My sister-in-law and her kids came down this weekend to celebrate some birthdays, and when they arrived my husband and I went over to the condo to help her unpack the car. When we finished, we were sitting around talking and I mentioned to her about how my chest gets tight for no reason. Earlier that day when I was reading my book, Lead me Holy Spirit, my chest would get really tight when I would reach certain paragraphs. It is a super tight feeling, like you cannot breathe, but you are breathing fine. It has happened on several other occasions, and only when I’m reading my bible, or Christian book, when I’m praying or when I’m being prayed for. So, I knew it had to be God either telling me to pay attention or something but I wanted her opinion.

Well, on July 29th my husband and I were baptized in the Gulf of Mexico!!! It was a very special time and day for us; it has been a long time coming! While we were standing in the water, and Pastor Wayne was praying over us, I got that really tight feeling in my chest. It was super tight, almost like a panick attack/can’t breathe type thing, but you are breathing fine (like i mentioned earlier). It is a very unusual feeling and as soon as we were dunked in the water it went away. It will go away just as fast and it comes. That is what I told her, and she said “Tiff it is the Holy Spirit.” You are feeling His presence there with you, and to you, that tightness is how you feel Him. On some days He may just being saying, hey I’m here and on others it could be a hey pay closer attention. How awesome that is to know, that while my husband and I were getting baptized the Holy Spirit was standing with us. I can picture Jesus watching over us rejoicing and telling us Yay, way to go! How absolutely fascinating that is.

There are days when I’m I do not know up from down, white from black, it all just seems wrong and I just want a redo and/or fast forward button. But I know now that it is those days that I need to seek the Lord’s face, I need to ignore that wall the enemy wants to put up and keep my eyes on Jesus (look UP NOT DOWN). I was having one of those days on Wednesday and while I was reading my book (mentioned above) that tight feeling came over me when I was reading about the Holy Spirit of truth and lies. It was saying how the enemy will put a spirit of lies in people’s mouths, even prestigious christian me and woman, to make you fall and stumble and it is in those times that you need to Ask for the truth, and the wisdom and revelation to discern the truth. How perfect that passage was to my feeling of the day. How wonderful it is to know that when I’m feeling low the Holy Spirit is there to give me a nudge and say Look up not down!

This year has been a trying year on a variety of different levels. But one thing in for sure that I am growing into a deeper relationship with our Lord and Savior. The more I learn about Him, the more I crave his word.  I want to learn, I have a passion and a desire to learn that I have never had before and I owe it ALL to our Heavenly Father! Following His will and listening to the Holy Spirit is not an easy task, it will have trials and tribulations, but it is the MOST rewarding thing you could Ever do!

 

Quest to know the Holy Spirit

Long-journey

Long-journey (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In my quest to become a better Christian, wife, mother, and daughter I’ve come to realize that I need the Holy Spirit more than anything. Until recently I did not understand fully the power of the Holy Spirit or really too much about the Holy Spirit period. I went through my late teens and early 20’s as a half-chrisitian. I kinda understood God, I kinda understood the Bible, I kinda understood everything and I thought that was sufficient. I learned a little bit here and there, went to church on Holidays or when I was invited but I had fallen away. I did know I was going to Heaven and I prayed and repented but I now know that is not enough at all. It wasn’t until my daughter was born that I realized I need the Lord and need to seek him more than I was.First, I have to thank the Lord that he sent his son to die on the cross for my and your sins, and when he was resurrected and lifted to heaven we were able to receive Gods Holy Spirit. As long as you acknowledge his son and ask his son to come into your heart and you are saved by his grace, his gift to you is His Holy Spirit to live IN YOU! How amazing! Gods Holy Spirit is how he talks to us, it gives us our strength to face challenges, I could go on but without the Holy Spirit in us, we would be doomed!

I have come to realize I need to focus on God more throughout the day. I need to give him more Glory, pray more, I need to rely on HIM and His strength instead of my own. At church Pastor Jerimy said if you don’t know what to do pray, if you think you know pray, if you are for sure pray, in whatever you do pray! I need to seek Him more in everything I do!! By seeking God more he gives us more of His blessings and grace. If we lean on Him and His Holy Spirit we do not have to worry or have a spirit of fear, because God will fight the battles for you. It is amazing how much more Joyous life is, when you realize that you NEED Him!

In a book I’m reading it said ” for every hour you spend complaining, spend 10 praising and giving Glory to our God.” Then a picture on Facebook I saw said something like “The enemy cannot hear your thoughts but can hear your words, so make sure you say words of power. Joy to our God, empowering, scripture, words that lift up. All positive words so the enemy cannot got a foothold in your life!” How true that is! Our words have so much power to do us good or harm, and the enemy feeds on those moments we let our words spill out without thinking. There is still so much that I am and need to learn, I believe I will be learning until the day that I die and I am fine with that. I will continue to read books and read my bible and grow into a more personal relationship with our Lord and Savior!

Do you need to re-evaluate your relationship with God. There is no time like the present, so what are you waiting for, today is the perfect day to start a fresh and get in a right relationship with Him.