Roller Coaster week of Emotions

Last week, has been one of those weeks you feel like you have sunk in a hole and cannot find your way out. One of those weeks the enemy has been feeding you with lies, but not any lies the kind that speak right to your weak spot. So strong and so piercing you almost want to believe them. So close to the truth yet so far away from the truth you do not know which way is up. Yes one of those weeks. A “Roller coaster week of Emotions!”

It all started with the lie, you cannot home school your daughter you are to much of a procrastinator. It will never work because you lose your focus and you let weeks slip by before you realize. Now I would Love to home school my daughter and I cannot shake the tiny fire in my heart that says, she needs to stay be homeschooled just trust me. Hmmmm… those two Powerful words Trust Me! I am so torn, even thought she just turned 3 in September, as to if I am supposed to Home-school, find a way to send her to private school, or do public school. As this week has shown me I need to Fully submit to God and Fully ask His help in this area. I need to remember that I have God Fully on my side! He will give me the wisdom if I ask, all I got to do is TRUST HIM!

Another lie that, is you are not doing enough to please God. You are sleeping in when you should be getting up, you are not spending enough alone time with God, you are not doing enough to allow the Holy Spirit to work in you, yes those kinds of lie. Yes, I know they are all lies but it is true that, that is an area I struggle. I struggle with getting up enough time before Lily to really pray and read my bible. I struggle with spending ALONE time with the HIM! I struggle in every area of my Life but I need to STOP ask God for help. HE is the ONLY person who can Truly and Permanently help me in this area. I need to submit my Whole life to Him and not just bits and pieces.

The last issue is a super personal one, I had an emotional breakdown Saturday Night because of it. I try and I try to, I pray and I pray, over this issue but yet nothing changes, or it could be changing I’m just not seeing it. In fact it seems like my world is slipping away, in so many different directions, but yet I can do nothing about it. It seems like a bunch of “one way” streets now. I try to turn back but you cannot make U-Turns and everything I knew is gone away. But you can think of it like this, I DID pray for change! I DID pray for a “new beginning” (in a way). Maybe this is God’s way of saying something New is coming along, I know you cannot see it, just TRUST ME (there it is again) and you will see, IN MY TIME! Hmm Ouch! I think I’m Lost and there is nowhere to go right now, but I forget that I have the PERFECT person to turn to, GOD!

Praise the Lord my family is healthy, and rejoice because our Lord is King! The more I turn to Him Alone, the more of his truth and discernment he will give to me. I have to be patient because everything is in HIS timing!!!!!!!! I know new and good things are coming, I just gotta wait out this waiting period and never Forget who is Number 1 in my life! When God is working on us, or changing something about us or around us, it hurts. You might not be able to realize it at first but Do not Ever Forget that God works all things out for the Glory of Him!!

Overcoming Fear with Purpose

A couple of Sundays ago while I was in Church, a lady went up to the steps going up to the altar and knelt down. This was during our Worship service, when church first started. As I sang and watched the lady, I assume she was praying, I had this nudge in my heart that I needed to go down there and pray for her. I asked myself, gosh Tiff really? The nudge did not go away. I decided that I would stay where I was and pray for her, besides going all the way down there. Still, the nudge did not go away until she stood up and went back to chair. As I stood there thinking to myself, gosh, what opportunity did I just miss? Did I have a chance to help her, or someone she knows by actually going DOWN there and putting my hand on her back and praying?

Another story, there is a gentleman that walks up and down Hwy 98 all the time. I see him just about every time I leave my house. At first he always had the same clothes on, carrying the same color plastic bag, with a big beard and hair that needed a trim. I told Evan, we really need to give him a backpack and maybe a shirt or something of yours you think might fit him. From a distance, and driving by he looks about(ish) Evan’s size. One day, he had a new shirt on, new pants, and had a clean face and trimmed hair. Still, I feel that I need to give him a backpack with some clothes or something inside. Evan has told me I think we need to give him my black jacket so he can be warm this winter. What could hurt from stopping, getting out of my car with the bag, and telling him what is in it, and that I feel the Lord wants you to have this and invite him to church with us? All the could say is no thanks and walk away. My husband has seen him walk away from a car that pulled over before, but you never know the intention of the person in that car. I’ve thought maybe if I start off with I feel the Lord, or the Lord has placed it on my heart, maybe he will be more receptive to stop?

This is something I struggle with a lot. Was that nudge that I felt in my heart from God telling me, Tiffany you need to go bless this lady and pray for her? Tiffany you need to give this man what I have instructed your husband and you to give? Or was it my own head telling me these things, and I’m going to go all the way down there to the lady or to this man and look like an idiot? I should not let FEAR keep me from listening to that voice. I heard a couple of months ago, that you never want to ignore that voice telling you to call a person. Since, I have heard that I have been faithful (80% of the time, as opposed to 50% before) in following through with that voice.

My main problem is FEAR & REJECTION! I feel that I am not worthy enough, or I do not know enough to go up to a stranger and give him something because I FEAR he will reject it or me. I know deep in my heart, my passion and purpose (somehow) is bring God’s glory to people worldwide. I know my passion and purpose is to go to other countries, spread God’s word and help them in some way, form, or fashion. If i am EVER going to be able to fulfill that purpose that has been placed within my heart, I need to Seek the Lord more earnestly, and put on them Big Girl Panties and DO what has been placed on my heart instead of chickening out.

So, as soon as I am done on here, I am going to grab that backpack, and place it by my front door. Then when my husband comes home, he can pick out an outfit or whatever he feels lead to give to this man, the jacket, and some food inside this backpack. Then we are going to PRAY for this man, and that God will guide us to him so we can give him this gift, and go find him. No more FEAR stopping this girl from fulfilling the calling that Lord has placed on my heart! You never know when the person you stop to help is actually going to bless you more than you bless them? Maybe that is why God has called you to this person?

Oh yes, another plus in my not letting Fear drag me down, is what an awesome way to physically teach Lily about Love and how we are to Love one another. How are to bless others and share God with them! She is so young but I need to start BEING THE EXAMPLE!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Thrilling new Journeys

The past two weeks have been exciting, fun, new, and a little scary! Last week my family and I went to Disney World! My Lily had a blast, well I think we ALL had a blast. Lily got to see all her favorite characters, we ate lunch with the princesses, she got to pick out a couple new stuffed animals, and she got to ride her favorite ride twice. It was a magical experience, and Lily has already asked to go back several times!

When we got home, I signed Lily up for ballet classes! We went and got her ballet clothes yesterday, and she starts classes on Saturday. She was so excited she wanted to wear her ballet outfit all day. I know she will have a blast, especially since she LOVES to dance around the house. My only worry is that she will freak when I or my mom leave her in the classroom. I know as soon as she gets comfortable she will be just fine!

Then on Tuesday I signed up to be an Independent Scentsy Consultant. I was so excited, well still excited to start this journey, learn all I can learn, and get some customers. Today, though, I am not so confident in myself and my ability to be “successful”. In the past I tried to start my own business and it flopped, I know now it was not Gods will for me to do that business, but I don’t this to be another flop. I worry, is this really Gods will or not? I need to pray and ask God for his guidance!!!!!!

Learning how to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit is something I’m working on. I know it says whatever you ask for believe you have received it and it shall be yours. I need to believe. in myself and ask God for his blessing over everything in my family’s life. I need to learn to lean on God and his understanding and not my own. I need to learn to listen to the Holy Spirit and what he is saying and not Doubt! I have a lot to learn but I am enjoying this journey filled with JOY!

If any of my readers want to check out my scentsy site, Go Here  and look around!