Let Go…

 

This journey of life, reminds me of a mountain road. There are some scary parts of the road, where you are scared that if you make one little mistake you will fall off the road. Then there are parts of a mountain road that are beautiful and breathtaking. Yet some parts of a mountain road are steep, where you and your car are struggling to stay on the road and make it up over the hill. We are always going through something, walking out of something, or about to go through something. It is how we grow as a person, how we grow in God, and how God refines us to do his work.

The past week, God has been doing a number on me. He has revealed a part of me that needs work. A part of me that needs to forgive and LOVE instead. A part of me that needs to keep trying, even if it feels like the other person(s) don’t care. I care and I need to show God’s love to them. I need to pray instead of complain. I need to keep on trucking, doing what I’m doing and BELIEVE that one day it will be better. I know that if it doesn’t ever get better, at least I am trying and that is what God wants me to do!

It has been, always has been, and will continue to be a struggle. I will never understand what goes through people’s minds, and why some things are done, said, or not done. But you know that is okay, it is not for me to understand. It is not for me to question people’s motives, and “judge” them unfairly. Hmmm…. that word JUDGE. I honestly did not even realize that I am judging unfairly until I wrote that out. How amazing our Lord is, and how he reveals things to us.

I have a bad habit of thinking, that my family is not as important, or my family just does not matter to this person. Every time I say something like that, whether out loud or to myself I am judging them. I do not know people’s motives, or why they do the things they do, but I should not put blame (Judge) on them that should not be there. I need to take my cares to the Lord and Let Go. I need to stop having a tiff pity party and say Thank you Lord that I have a wonderful Loving Family! I need to proclaim things that aren’t as they are! I need to worship our Lord Jesus Christ when I want to complain.

This is another one of those learning curves in the mountain road, but I do know that I am exactly where God wants me to be. I do know that I am growing in my faith and becoming a stronger Christian and that is Glorious. I am on my way to becoming all that God has called me to be and that is the only thing that matters! :)

No good thing comes with doubt

I recently heard a Pastor at my church say, “When you pray for something, there cannot be any doubt within that prayer. You have to believe with 100% certainty that what you are praying lines up with God’s will and Will Be Done.” How many of us ever realize that having a teeny bit of doubt can hinder what God wants to do for and through you?

“Therefore, I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they shall be granted unto you.”– Mark 11: 24

I have read that scripture before, at one point it was tapped to my dryer, so every time I did laundry I would have to look at it and read it. BUT It never really dawned on me that the little bit out doubt that was inside of me was hindering my prayers! It was hindering what God wanted to do for and through me. Knowing all of this now, I wish I could have realized this Before I went on my mission trip, because I know it would have been an even richer experience, but I know it went just as it should because God was in control.

It was last Sunday, and as I’m listening to the sermon being preached, and staring at my connect card (it’s a card we will out weekly and we can put prayer request at the bottom) well as I’m starting at this card I being to write and I know it was all God who was writing! I had not one ounce of doubt about my prayer request and I asked my church to come together and believe with me that this is God’s will and it will be done! All last week I prayed and Thanked God for the change that is happening! Then today I put the same prayer down and asked the church once more to come together and believe with me on this topic!

“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”– Matthew 18:20

I know for a fact that every single person that is praying for my family is believing 100% that everything is being worked out for the good of my family! Even though it has only been 1 week since I asked and began praying for the topic, I can ALREADY see the blessing that are being poured out on me and my family. I can already see the answers to my prayers unfold before my eyes. It is a beautiful thing to know our God is a faithful God and he hears our prayers! I thank the Lord that I finally understand how much of a hinderance doubt can be and the enemy no longer has that hold on me!!!!

It is a beautiful thing, because the more we grow and have a deeper relationship with God the more that our Children will be blessed! The more that we learn about the word, the more we can teach our children and impact the people around us. I want to live to my life, not for me, but for the people around me! I want to impact as many people as I can, and the more that I can learn and grow the more that I can help those around me!

Be the light in someones darkness.

It has been a really long time since I have been on here. I think it has been way to long, personally. So, much has happened and so much has gone on that I am not sure how to even get back into blogging. But, I think I need to, so today I am going to give it a shot.

I know I have mentioned on here before that I know Missions is where my heart is. Well the end of May, beginning of June, I went on a Mission Trip to the Dominican Republic, and let me tell you it was an incredible experience. We walked around the refugee area (where people who were displaced from hurricanes, come to live) and we passed out rice and beans, and prayed for each home. Then we went back to the refugee area and did a medical clinic. We treated a lot of cold, cough, wounds, scabies, fungi, a lot of different things. We also went to the hospital and the ladies went to the maternity ward and we prayed for every mother and child, whether born or unborn. We also went to the prison to their church service, one of our team members gave his testimony and our pastor preached, and 3 men came to know Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!! We also went to the girl’s home (orphanage) that the missionaries on the ground started, we went almost everyday, and just loved on all of the kids. We taught them a little English, baked cakes, colored, just had fun. We also did a street evangelism in a city named Bane (pronounced bonnie) and we got to pray for more people and had a church service outside. There was a lot more that we did but overall it was an incredible experience.

I learned while down there that Missions is in my blood, it is what I am supposed to do, and it is who I am! I know that I am supposed to go to difference countries and tell those people about Jesus! I know that helping with water wells, will be part of that journey one day. I am looking forward to the day that I get to go to another country again, to love on all the kids, pray for the people, and just share the light and love of Jesus with them.

For the mean time, I do need to try to reach the people in my own backyard. I know there is a lot more that I could and can do to help the people around me, and the people who I meet everyday to know about the Beauty and Glory of God! Think about it, you go to the mall and you will see, more than likely, at least one person from another country. We have the chance almost everyday you leave your house to tell someone about God and change their lives. Maybe it is just a simple hello how are you? Maybe its just smiling at someone? Maybe you see someone struggling with bags and you offer to help? How about NOT cutting off that person and letting them get by? If we can try everyday to live like Jesus, to show God’s love to every single person we see, to be a light to people, even just by simple actions. How much more joyful would people be?

 

Amazing Power of Prayer

In my last post, I wrote about this lady named Peggy, and how she invited me to her small group on Monday so they could pray over me. Yesterday, was the day and wow what a life changing experience! I went not knowing what was going to happen, did not know what to expect, just came with an open mind and knew that I really needed this. I needed this so I can move on and grow deeper in the Lord.

I went in their thinking I was going to be prayed over because I have fear. I did not realize that there was SOOOOO much more to that fear that I never realized. There was oppression around me, fear, and so much more than I thought. The ladies told me things that I knew HAD to come from God, and it just blew me away. It is amazing how God will speak to people and give them bites and pieces into your oppression so that in turn you can confess with your mouth in front of these people to become set free. I went in their with this weight on my shoulders that I got really good at blocking out, and left feeling free and forgiven!

Peggy, shared with me that God showed her a picture and first it was a beautiful ivory crown, with rhinestone and jewels all around it, then the crown got lower and there was my face and I was wearing a beautiful ivory dress. I was standing on stage in front of a crowd, and I was some type of royalty, queen, something of the sort, and God had amazing plans for me. (I hope if you read this Peggy, I am remembering correctly!) I was also told that God is waiting in the light for me, I need to stop doubting myself and letting other people influence me and just LISTEN TO GOD ONLY! I get so far and so close to the light, and then I back-slide and I am back to square one. So, they prayed that I would only be able to hear God’s voice and not the voice of confusion!

I also need to take Lily by the hand and really teach her the bible, teach her to pray, and help her grow in the Lord. I need to take her by the hand and show her everything the Lord wants me/us to do. I praise the Lord that I am a stay at home mom now, so I can teach Lily everything she needs to know, and we can grow in the Lord together.

Today, as I sit back and think about everything that was said and done last night, I am super thankful for each and every one of those ladies, and the one guy Duane that was there also! I am so very thankful to God for everything! Everything! Our God is a wonderful God and can do amazing things if we just BELIEVE!

All in God’s timing!

As I have written before, I know part of my calling is to go to other countries and be a missionary. I know I want to go dig wells for people, do not know why I just know digging wells is in my passion. I want to go hug and love on the little children and show them that a stranger Loves them! I want to show these children the Love of Jesus Christ to these people. I know this is my calling, but yes I am full of terror/fear. I am fearful of the unknown, I am full of doubt, I have fear that I will fail because I still have so much to learn myself, and I just full of fear period.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. (NKJV)

Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? (NKJV)

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (NLT)

I could go on and post more verses of the bible telling us not to fear, for the Lord your God is with you. Yes, I do know and understand all of these but still I have fear in my life. I cannot let my shy, quiet and reserve personality hold me back from the blessing that God has in store for me. I need to stand strong in my faith and go against the enemy and his attacks on my life, but he has a good grip and its hard.

This past weekend was our small group expo at my church. I looked up previously all the groups and one particular caught my attention. It was called Missionary Call and it was hosted by Peggy Morgan. Now, Peggy, is the lady that told me I was going to be a missionary and go on missions with the church. I have always known and felt that I would connect with her again and this was my season I felt to do that. Yesterday, was our first meeting and I am so thankful to God that I got up the courage and went. I knew I was in the exact spot that I was supposed to be! At the end, I cannot remember how, but I told Peggy about my fear that I had and that I was hoping this small group would help me overcome some of that fear. I lost it and started crying and poured out part of my heart to this lady. She gave me a tissue and invited me to come to another small group she attends, about healing and prayer. They pray over people who need healing and prayer, or they study from the bible about healing and prayer. So this Monday I am going with her, so they can pray over me and ask the Lord to remove my fear. How amazing God works! He heard my cries, prayers, and pleas and I believe this is the answer to them.

How amazing our God is! How amazing our lives can be changed when we listen to the Lord and do as he says. I almost did not sign up for this small group because I was scared. I walked away from the table and said No not now, but my husband was talking to a friend of his so I turned back around and signed up. Thank you Jesus that Evan was talking! Thank you Jesus for these people because I know they are going to transform my life for the better! I am so incredibly excited as to what the Lord has in store for me. I am so incredibly excited that maybe this is my time to finally go on a mission trip! If this is not my time, well that is fine because I know I will get to go one day, All In God’s TIMING!

Just Waiting

Somewhere in this crazy world we call life, I missed my turn. Or maybe I decided I wanted to sit on the side lines, in the grass, and watch a bit? Which ever the case, I am not where I need/want/am supposed to be. My flesh has taken over and I am slowly slipping off the track. Slipping down the slope into the valley of darkness. If I do not ask God for help and ask him to catch me and help me get back on the track I am doomed! God WILL catch you when you fall, He is there waiting with his hand, just waiting! Sometimes God might let us fall until we are milliseconds from hitting the bottom but if you Believe and Have Faith in Him, he WILL catch you!He is just waiting.

Even though I have fallen off the track, I have a Savior just waiting to hear me say, God I CANNOT do this alone, I cannot do this on my own, I NEED YOU, plain and simple I NEED YOU! Oh how sweet those words are, I NEED YOU! I confess my sins and pour my heart out to Him, and He comforts me! He lets me know, my child it is okay I am here I have Never left your side, I’ve Just Been Waiting! I believe that God LOVES to hear us say I NEED YOU, because it is True! 100% true, that we cannot do Anything without Him and His Spirit in us!

Is it a slow process getting back on them train tracks. It is not going to happen over night, and some days may be hard and you just feel like sitting down on the grass, but do not be deceived because that grass is no good! That grass is crawling with the enemy and his lies. The grass is crawling with everything that is of the world, and if you were to sit, you would be walking away from God. So, ask God I Need You, I want to sit but I know I should not,  please help me have the perseverance to overcome this and keep on walking!

Through every curve, every obstacle, through everything in life, I will continue to say God I Need you Today and everyday! I need you to be the light to my feet, the path that I follow, I need you to be my everything! Everyday I will say I Need You and I know that I will be okay!

Reflection on my Granny

As I sit here and think and take in the news I received this morning I cannot help but to reflect back on life. Reflect back on all the good and bad times I have had. All the times that God has done a miracle in my life, and all the times the enemy had me in his hand. Yesterday, I received news that my granny was in the hospital with kidney failure and she would more than likely, not make it until morning. She had a blood clot in her right leg, that gone unnoticed at the nursing home so long that gang green had begun to set in. She was several dehydrated, and was just not responsive at all. As my cousin is telling me the news that she isn’t doing well, she asked if I would go to the hospital with her and see Granny. So I went, and I am glad that I did because I got to spend a good 10-15 minutes by myself with her.

At first I just sat quietly just looking at how fragile she looked, at how skinny she was, and how wrinkly her skin was because she was so thin. Then I got up and I prayed over her, I would touch different parts of her body and pray that God would deliver her from her pain and make it go away, that if this was her time that he would take her so her pain would stop. I prayed over and over while touching all different parts of her body and I just felt a peace, the more that I prayed. I did have a few scary moments when her breathing would stop, just for a second, then would catch up again. After I was done praying, I stood there and told her about Lily. How Lily got to see Cinderella and go to Disney World. I told her about Halloween, and that Lily was a ladybug, but we called her Lazy bug because I pulled her around in a cart. I told her that Lily had started ballet, and really liked it. I showed her silly pictures of Lily, even though she could not open her eyes. I just sat there and talked to her like normal. A few times I would adjust her pillow, and she would hold her head up while I fixed the pillow. Then I slide her body over a little because she looked uncomfortable. I told her that we were going to church and that Lily LOVES her sunday school class. I told her that Lily loves learning about God, and that she was going to grow up in a Godly home. Most importantly I told her I loved her!

My granny is not a biological grandparent. She is my step-dads mom, but she has known me since I was small, a good 24 years now. Ever since I first met her she always treated me like a true blood grandchild. I was the first grandchild that she had, and when I was small I would go over to her house and spend the night. I remember her calling my mom and asking to watch me, and spend the night. I could always eat, drink, whatever I wanted. We would play with the dogs, or look through all her old year books from the 60’s thru 80’s, and pick out people who I knew. Then more cousins came around and we would always go to her house and hunt Easter eggs. During Thanksgiving she always made the dressing different that other grandparents but it was yummy. And never once, even with other blood grandchildren coming along did she make me feel less.

Then came a point in my life when my mom and step dad separated, I was about 18, and I did not see her as much. I did not go over there as much, and holidays got more complicated and sometimes I would not make it to her house. I could say, I wish I could have gotten to see her more during those years but I will not. What good is it to wish to change the past when you have the present. Eventually I got some sense knocked into me and I started to go see her more. Thank goodness!

Then came along Lily! Her first great grandchild. I am so thankful to God that Granny was able to spend time with Lily and watch her grow these past 3 years. I am thankful that Lily was able to see Granny and remembers her, you do have to say Granny with the dog Angel and she will go oh okay yeah. I am thankful that I got to go up to the hospital and have those last moments with her! Even though she was not responsive, I know in my heart that she heard me. I know in my heart that she heard and knew I was praying over her body for the pain to subside. I know that she knew I was there! I know my Granny is in a much better place now, she gets to see her Family and be in God’s wonderful Kingdom in Heaven!!