As I have written before, I know part of my calling is to go to other countries and be a missionary. I know I want to go dig wells for people, do not know why I just know digging wells is in my passion. I want to go hug and love on the little children and show them that a stranger Loves them! I want to show these children the Love of Jesus Christ to these people. I know this is my calling, but yes I am full of terror/fear. I am fearful of the unknown, I am full of doubt, I have fear that I will fail because I still have so much to learn myself, and I just full of fear period.
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. (NKJV)
Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? (NKJV)
2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (NLT)
I could go on and post more verses of the bible telling us not to fear, for the Lord your God is with you. Yes, I do know and understand all of these but still I have fear in my life. I cannot let my shy, quiet and reserve personality hold me back from the blessing that God has in store for me. I need to stand strong in my faith and go against the enemy and his attacks on my life, but he has a good grip and its hard.
This past weekend was our small group expo at my church. I looked up previously all the groups and one particular caught my attention. It was called Missionary Call and it was hosted by Peggy Morgan. Now, Peggy, is the lady that told me I was going to be a missionary and go on missions with the church. I have always known and felt that I would connect with her again and this was my season I felt to do that. Yesterday, was our first meeting and I am so thankful to God that I got up the courage and went. I knew I was in the exact spot that I was supposed to be! At the end, I cannot remember how, but I told Peggy about my fear that I had and that I was hoping this small group would help me overcome some of that fear. I lost it and started crying and poured out part of my heart to this lady. She gave me a tissue and invited me to come to another small group she attends, about healing and prayer. They pray over people who need healing and prayer, or they study from the bible about healing and prayer. So this Monday I am going with her, so they can pray over me and ask the Lord to remove my fear. How amazing God works! He heard my cries, prayers, and pleas and I believe this is the answer to them.
How amazing our God is! How amazing our lives can be changed when we listen to the Lord and do as he says. I almost did not sign up for this small group because I was scared. I walked away from the table and said No not now, but my husband was talking to a friend of his so I turned back around and signed up. Thank you Jesus that Evan was talking! Thank you Jesus for these people because I know they are going to transform my life for the better! I am so incredibly excited as to what the Lord has in store for me. I am so incredibly excited that maybe this is my time to finally go on a mission trip! If this is not my time, well that is fine because I know I will get to go one day, All In God’s TIMING!